What to do if you get the festive season blues
For many people Christmas and the holiday season is a joyful time that farewells the old year and welcomes in the new with renewed opportunities and possibilities. It can be a time of that brings to mind happy memories, a time for families to come together to celebrate, and for leisure and relaxation.
For others Christmas can be a very difficult time. A few months ago a student told us that she hates Christmas. For most of her adult life the festive season has been a time of recalling painful childhood memories and of feeling pressured to engage in activities that she doesn’t enjoy. She also says that she hates the blatant commercialization of Christmas and the pressure to spend money. This has gotten in the way of her being able to tune into and celebrate the spirit of the times.
Recently this student embarked on a yoga therapy program. One of her main aims has been to manage the painful memories that stem from childhood and to handle the complex emotions that arise from feeling sad when she is expected to be joyful. The primary practice she has engaged in is Inner Silence – Antar Mouna Stages 1 and 2. She combined this with Ajapa Japa meditation, the uniting of breath, mantra and consciousness.
As a result, she has been able to gain a more balanced perspective on her emotions, to digest many of her dark memories and emotions, and the consequent behaviors that they have caused her. Her focus has gradually and naturally shifted from the pain to the awareness of her innate strengths and resilience. More recently she has found that she can empathize and engage with others in meaningful ways. She is now looking forward to creatively engaging with the festive season with reduced anxiety and anguish and increased confidence and joy.
The problem with christmas
For many people the end of the year can bring more pain than joy. Christmas is a time when emergency departments of hospitals become crowded with people suffering from drug and alcohol disorders, and exacerbated mental illness, especially depression, which increases dramatically at this time of year. This is most often due to the “happy” season bringing up difficult emotions and memories. Many people are alone, or have complex family dynamics, or have lost a dear one. And their health issues or financial stress becomes more pronounced.
Research has shown that most problems around the holiday season are psychological and emotionally based, rather than practical or financial. For example, a common complaint by people is feeling taken for granted by family and being pressured into spending their precious holidays in a situation they know they will not enjoy.
A study by the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario and Toronto Distress Centre confirms that the quantity and severity of calls by depressed people to its helpline increases each year from November through December. It then adjusts back to a normal level around January of the following year.
The invention of the department store
We have come to accept the festive season as it is today. We expect to be bombarded with media and advertising. We are told that the health of the economy depends on our spending power. But Christmas was not always about consumerism.
Christmas as we know it today reflects the rise of the merchant class and the growth of department stores. The French entrepreneur Aristide Boucicaut created the world’s first department store, Le Bon Marche, in 1838. By creating a place where people could shop for all types of goods in one location he transformed wants into needs and sowed the seeds of our present-day consumer society.
The invention of Christmas shopping
Philadelphia merchant, John Wanamaker, who opened his department store in the late 19th century, invented “Christmas Shopping”. He is one of the first to exploit his religion by being the first vendor to create sales feasts out of the Christian festivals of Christmas and Easter. He also invented Mother’s Day, the Money-Back-Guarantee, and he introduced Americans to French luxury goods.
John Wanamaker was also a radical thinker renowned for his honesty and philanthropy. He was one of the first merchants to give his employees free medical care, education, recreational facilities, pensions and profit share.
Department stores owners invented revolutionary concepts such as easy credit, returns policies, window displays, change-rooms and Santa parades. They made shopping a theatrical experience with lights and window displays, and invited people to shop, eat, travel up and down escalators, and delivered telephones to customer’s chairs for their convenience.
On the plus side department stores had the great egalitarian benefit of the “bargain basement”, breaking down the old codes of class distinction.
The shadow of commerce
However, this new commerce had its shadow side: the rise of status anxiety, the promise of instant gratification, the standardisation of sizing (you must fit in), and the creation of debt. Not only did individuals pick the debt cherry but, (as we are sorely aware of today), so did organisations and nations. The new easy commerce also gave rise to a new disease – kleptomania.
Christmas as a meaningful experience
It is possible to transform the holiday season into something that is both personally rewarding and that allows you to engage with others in meaningful ways. You can find a balance between the material and the spiritual-wisdom of this time. It can be a time of slowing down, connecting with others authentically, enjoying simple things, and of letting others know how you are doing.
Access your inner center – the true place of peace
The key is to be able to access your inner center, to stay connected to your deeper, more powerful self, and from that part of you to do what is right for you. If you can do this, you will be able to disentangle yourself from the hypnotic effects of Christmas.
It is important to cultivate self-awareness and to manage your mind. In particular the subconscious mind that stores your memories of Christmases past. In this way you can remain more present centred and, as our student has done, you will be able to redefine your concept of Christmas.
In training her mind to see herself and her emotions objectively through Inner Silence our student reports that she has now witnessed that her old concept of Christmas is not aligned with her new found skills. She feels ready to create a new concept that is more in line with the strong, resilient, mature part of her.
May your Christmas and the holiday season be in line with your deepest Self.
Authors: Dr Swami Shankardev Saraswati and Jayne Stevenson | Copyright Big Shakti 2011
Inner Silence Guided Meditation and Talks
Without self-awareness and mind management it is easy to get lost in our mind and in daily events. Our attention is constantly pulled towards the incessant demands of the external world so that we are unconscious of what is arising within us. If we neglect our inner being, we tend to identify with and become entangled in our thoughts, desires and emotional responses. They then have the power to dominate our inner and outer life.
Inner Silence guided meditations, accompanied by instructional talks, teach you how to tune into your deepest self and enable you to purify your mind and polish your heart. The act of purifying the mind ennobles the spirit (i.e it is a good karma).
By connecting with your essence you identify with your true self and your true needs (with reality). In the busy-ness of the holiday season we hope that you will take some time to objectively reflect upon the lessons and knowledge you have gained in the past year, so that you become proactive in creating optimal circumstances for your future.